(Sometimes I cheat and it’s actually mid afternoon.)
November 15th, 2016
Absolutely beautiful morning this morning. My bedroom always gets stunning natural light in the mornings. I love waking up to a sunrise.
I am scrambling this morning to finish all of my homework before my first class this afternoon. So of course, the most responsible thing to do is take a picture of me working on homework and blog about it..obviously.
It has been hard for me to stay positive recently. I have been so stressed out and have yet to find the best way to cope with it (besides writing to you, whoever reads this.) We live in a very high-stress society, where we are constantly going from one thing to the next and never taking a break. And those brilliant few who recognize the need for stillness every once in a while are considered “unproductive”, or “lazy”.
I hope you can take the time today to be happy, though, and give yourself a well-deserved break. I hope you have a beautiful, wonderful, stress-free day full of all the positive things in life.
I’m rooting for you ;)
Many smiles and so much love,
November 14th, 2016
Or at least I think it’s the 14th, I’m not sure..one of those days.
Hi lovelies! It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these. Reading back on some of my previous entries, I can’t help but sigh. I wouldn’t exactly say I am ashamed of who I was, but reflecting on my past self always makes me laugh a little. And I bet I will laugh at this as well, maybe even two weeks from now. Or tomorrow.
I feel a little..floppy. I want to say floppy. I feel floppy. That probably isn’t the best word to use, but it’s what I’m going with.
I lack direction in my life. I am currently enjoying one of the many awkward stages in life with all of its beautiful ups and downs. It feels like a horrible in-between period, where the only thing I could do is stay positive..and work my ass off too, of course…that part is important. Never stop working toward your goals, as I believe a saying might go.
But what if I don’t have a goal? Or at least, not a goal with a clear path? I mean, from what I can see, my path has just abruptly stopped.
Sure, I want to be happy. That’s a huge life goal. I want to inspire other people, that’s another huge life goal. I want nothing more than those two things.
I may not know my exact direction right now, but I know those two things.
For now, all I can do is keep trying and keep smiling.
With much love and many smiles,
September 8th, 2016
I started back in school yesterday.
The first week of school is by far the strangest. The first week is an awkward period when I attempt to get to know my teachers and prepare for the upcoming tsunami of homework and stress (I stress out very easily, and then I get sick..it’s not fun but you get used to it after awhile).
So this first week, I’m excited, I get to see wonderful friends again, and I can’t wait to get back to work – back to a schedule. And then all of my excitement drained from me when I heard one of my professor’s saddening comment. I couldn’t get it out of my head all of that day, and I still can’t seem to let go of it. It hasn’t stopped bothering me since. I was told, or should I more appropriately say my whole class was told, that the students at my school have it easy, compared to the rigor of many other comparing schools. At the time, I didn’t say anything. Now I almost wish I had. “Almost”, because at the time, I know I would not have been able to squeeze my thoughts into one unified point. Now, sitting at my desk, I know what I wish I could have said.
I wish I had had the ability at the time to say that I disagree. I disagree because my education is a huge and important part of my life, and at no point in my life has it been easy, I find it frustrating because I work really hard to get the grades that I do, and comments like that make it seem as if all that hard work I put in means nothing. I value my education the privilege I have to go to this school. If it’s so easy, then why am I trying so hard? If it’s so easy, why do I go here? If it’s so easy, why don’t you make it harder and teach me what real work is so that I can learn how to be a problem solver and work even harder to reach my goals?
Don’t blame your supposedly average level students, blame your average level materials.
September 4th, 2016
There was a point in my life when I had someone I truly connected to. I had a beautiful person in my life who knew me inside out and was never afraid to say what she knew I needed to hear. As the years have passed, relationships have changed. That beautiful person became more of a distant friend. Did I work hard enough to keep her in my life? No, I didn’t. I know I could have done more. We drifted apart, and eventually, neither of us put energy into reconnecting. At this point, it is far in my past. My hope is that one day I may find another beautiful connection like the one I had.
Sometimes music is the purest escape I can manage.
September 3rd, 2016
Mornings are the most blissful time of day. I would think I should be stressed, being traumatically ripped from the comfort of my bed and thrust into a world full of people and constant stimulation. From the moment I first open my eyes, I am bombarded with so many images and thoughts all while trying to complete menial tasks that form my day. But those first few hours of early morning offer me my best refuge. My thoughts are clearest, my energy at its peak.
June 17th, 2016
Sweatpants are so comfortable.
May 26th, 2016
Today is the final day separating me from summer break, a three-month period that is mostly spent in my pajamas.